Friday, March 26, 2010

"Americans Still Concerned About Barack Obama's Possible Ties to Satan" from Indecision Forever

According to a new poll from Harris Interactive, American are still Americans

Americans have some extreme views of President Obama, with a new controversial survey suggesting that 40 percent of adults believe he is a socialist, and about a quarter of survey participants thinking the president is a racist, anti-American and even doing things Hitler did.

A racist, anti-American Nazi? Snooze! You'd better do better than that America is you wanna shock me into fearful dismay…

14 percent of Americans say President Barack Obama may be the Antichrist.

Head, explode, skull shrapnel, brain mist.

Take a moment and just try and wrap your exploded brain about that one for a moment. Think about how, for every 100 people you see during the day, 14 of those people are worried that Barack Obama might maybe be this poorly-defined mythological character that someone who we can't even really identify wrote about in some letters a couple thousand years ago.

Of course, that's not completely right either. It can be a lot less than 14 people, or a lot more, depending upon the political breakdown of where you live in the country…

When split by political party, 24 percent of Republicans and 6 percent of Democrats viewed the nation's leader in this way.

A quarter people who identify themselves as Republicans. That's one out of four. You can't find one out of four people who can locate Indonesia (a.k.a., where Barack Obama was borne of a jackal) on a map of the world. And yet one out of four Republicans think that all the facts aren't in yet about the possibility our President is the offspring of Satan with magical evil powers and herald of the End of Days.

And, hey, Democrats aren't off the stupid hook for only having a whole fucking 6 percent who believe this nonsense. I'm sure that the reason a lot of them aren't worried about Obama maybe being the Antichrist is that they're much more concerned that his chakra hasn't traveled far enough into Capricorn's cusp for his emgrams to be fully acupunctured homeopathically.